


A Club Unrelated to Ashen Romance

by dragon_bagon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragon_bagon/pseuds/dragon_bagon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dave, Rose, and Terezi basically have a couple of pet play dates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Club Unrelated to Ashen Romance

**Author's Note:**

> This was created for the second round of the HSO for team Dave/Rose/Terezi! All art by the lovely gomimushi on tumblr!

**Dave: i dunno tz**

**Dave: im just not sure your application to the strider/lalonde monster club is strong enough to get you in Dave: for one thing its**

**Dave: yknow**

**Dave: an egg**

******Terezi: 4 M1GHTY 4ND POW3RFUL DR4GON 3GG!**

******Dave: well then that mighty and powerful dragon should hurry its ass up in getting out of that shell**

**Dave: bust that thing open so it can take its first few steps out into the real world to look up at the sun Dave: then promptly go just as blind as its owner**

******Terezi: 4CTU4LLY, TH1S SP3C13S OF DR4GON 1S BORN BL1ND**

******Dave: oh**

 

**Dave: hey maybe we could speed things up by grabbing one of johns sledgehammers and**

******Rose: Dave.**

**Rose: I realize nothing makes you happier than dead baby animals, but could you please try to refrain from killing Terezi’s pet in its youth.**

****

[Dave, Rose and Terezi are all walking their respective pets in the park. Dave is having some minor difficulty handling Crowbro, who looks like Crowsprite minus a sword in the belly. Rose has a lavender squiddle and Terezi is pushing along a teal dragon egg in a wagon.]

 

Your name is Y'glorath and you are a lavender SQUIDDLE. You are currently going on a walk with your OWNER, Rose Lalonde, her TWIN and TANGLEBUDDY, Dave Strider, and her FRIEND and other TANGLEBUDDY, Terezi Pyrope. You are having so much FUN! You tried to make friends with Dave and Terezi's pets so you could share your FUN with them, however Dave's CROWBRO kept trying to peck at you whenever you got close and Terezi's OVALY THING is strangely unresponsive to even the loudest of GLUBBINGS. Still, you won't let something like that get your mood down! That is because you are having sooooo muuuuuuch FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU(infinite loop detected and termanated)N!

 

>Y'glorath: What are those silly humanoids even talking about?

You don't know! You find it terribly silly they don't speak in glubs like normal beings! Instead they make a whole array of silly nonsense noises! Still, from the tone of the conversation you think they're... bantering? Yeah, bantering seems a good descriptor for this. Actually, it's a pretty good descriptor for whenever they talk!

 

>Wait, so we can't find out what they're saying from this perspective?

It looks like that is the case, yes.

 

>Okay then. Be... the egg.

I'm not quite sure why you thought this would help matters at all. Anyways, you cannot be THE EGG IN THE WAGON because that character is currently locked due to its UNHATCHED trait!

 

>Ugh, fine. Be Crowbro.

You are Crow-CAW-bro, sorry, Crowbro, and you are a SPRITESPECTOR. What I mean by that is that you are a orange crow ghosty-CAW-thing. While you cannot speak any humanoid languages, spritespectors are one of the few species of mons-CAW-ter able to understand them. And jeez, these lovebirds have been chatting up a storm! (Get it? Lovebirds? Because Crowbro is a- okay sorry that was just bad I apologize.)

 

**Dave: congratulations rose Dave: for once you have a pet that doesnt cause people to think**

**Dave: ohgodwhydoesthatevenexistnonoNOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**Dave: as soon as they look at it**

**Dave: although it still has tentacles i guess**

**Dave: gonna have to knock a few points off your score for that**

******Rose: But of course.**

**Rose: An addiction like that is difficult to break.**

******Terezi: 4NYW4YS-**

 

Wow. Their conversation is of practically no interest to you. This is mainly because you are part bird.

 

>Shiny thing: Shine.

Shiny things don't just start randomly shining, silly!

 

>Beam of light: Shine off shiny thing?

Well, that worked.

 

>Crowbro: Spot shiny thing.

Huh?

oh

shiny

shiny

 

SHINY

 

**Dave: agh!**

**Dave: crowbro**

**Dave: crowbro stop!**

**Dave: aaahhhhhh**

**  
**

******Rose: And there he goes.**

******Terezi: DO YOU TH1NK W3 OUGHT TO CH4S3 4FT3R H1M?**

******Rose: Well, I'm up for a bit of exercise. You?**

******Terezi: YOU N33DNT 3V3N 4SK!**

 

~*~

 

>Months in the future, but not too many:

 

**Dave: rose**

**Dave: what happened to y'glorbluhbluh**

**  
**

****

 

[Dave is looking rather shocked at Rose’s squiddle, which has grown much bigger, has grown many more tentacles, and also many more eyes. Overall, it’s much more terrifying.]

**Rose: It’s pronounced Y'glorath.**

******Dave: but**

**Dave: the eyes**

**Dave: and the**

**Dave: what**

******Rose: Honestly, considering my past records of pet ownership?**

**Rose: You really shouldn’t have expected anything different.**

******Dave: uh**

**Dave: yeah**

**Dave: in retrospect its kinda embarrassing i didnt see some kind of shit like this coming**

******Rose: Don’t worry Dave.**

**Rose: I’m sure one day you will be able to regain your honor as a coolkid.**

 

>Be Y’glorath.

 

 

 

Ọ̦̗̫̜͖̣͓͚̤̙͆͊ͣ̒ͭ̇̌̅̈́̊̍̆̀͒͜͝ͅk̴̢̰̝̣̣̬̜̪̟͖͓̘͍̫̹̎̈́ͯ̈́̎ͥ̌̽̆̍ͥͫ̀͋i̶̷̭̣̩̳̖̫̠̖̲̞͕̺̙͓͇͚̎͗̀ͬͫͨͪ̇ͭ̇ͩ̾ͣͮ͘ ̶̨̨̢̯̩͚̼̱͓̣͙͕͇̞̺̝̠̞̫͙̯̜̈́͛͗̔̈̑̐ͣͫ͌͊͌̿ͦͤ̆́d̷̛̙͈̘̥͉̘̦̖͓̣͒ͩͦ͌͊ͯ̑ͥ̌̌͆ͯ̈͝o̡ͦ̈͆ͯ̀҉̛͇͙̭̖͖̝̖̜͕̻̖̟̱͙͖̀k̵͉̦̩̮̼̱̣͖͔ͥ̆̂̒͌̎̀͞i͇̰̜͚̭̭̬̻̎ͤͭͧ̂͒ͭ̔̃ͨ͞!̧̛̯̻̹͖̪͓̘̩̰̜͙̣ͯͯ̾ͤ͂̒̐̅ͯͬͯ̒͠ͅ ̸̢̼̝̭̱̟̳͕͚̻̝̬̙̖̖̬̬̪̤̺ͨ̇͆̀̂̑͐̓ͣ͋̐ͬ̇̈̃ͫ͡͞M̴̯̬̱̰̥̞͈̹̩̔ͣͪ̏̐̒ͪͩ͆͗ͭͯ͑͛̐̈͊̾̈a̶̗͔̳̺̺͎͚͍̪̙̋̄ͧ̍ͧ̉ͩͭ̋͑͑̾ͣ̀͜ṅ̨͖͇̥̥̙̮̱̩͚̫͈̫͔̩̯̥͙̥̈́ͨͦ̓͟͞ ̧̜͉̤̺̞̦̫͕͔̒̂ͥͣ̐̍̊͌̚̚̕͝d̢̲̠̻̗̮̫̲̪̦̩̅͒̂̎͂̓ͬ̄ͯ͆ô̫̖̞͔̭̤̳̬̗̮̤̮̪̯̣͑̓̅̊ͨ͗ͤ͌͊̿̅̿̈́ͫ͘͘̕͢ ̴̸̧̖̣͓̲̦͉͖̫͑ͯ̋̈̑ͪ̇̏ͬͥ͟͝ͅy̡̏̿͐ͪ̒̈͆͗ͪ̄̾ͦ̏ͫ̚̚҉͏͇̞̰͉̦̲̦̫̭͓͓̠̬͔͡o̹͓̞̳̻͎͓͔͎̰̬̲̠͗͑̈ͯͫͦ͒̉ͫ̾͂ͩͩ͑̄̊̓̓̀͠ȗ̷̓̿͑ͭ̽̒͛ͤͤ̓̽̌ͨ̈́ͤ̌҉̶͎̞̝̬͎̞͙̖͖̖̭̩͈̼̼͜͡ ̢͇̰̘͓̯̝̘̘͖̫̘̝̠̜͙̤̗͇̫̄͊ͨ͌̕͢e̸ͮͦ̓ͧ͑҉̘͕̹͕̪̳̮͎͕̻̳̩͔̬͉̤̬̀͟n̷̳̳̠̫̭̙͎̩̗͉̲̗̓̓͒͌͌̾̕j̶̨̤̭̯͉̩̦̳̱̘̞͎̠͔̥͈͖̏́͐̅͂̄̇̎ͪ-̟̭̜̗̼͉̫͒̈ͫͦ͑̈ͩ͌ͧ̽ͨ̾ͨ͊̂̉̀̕̕ͅͅ

 

 

 

>Y’glorath.

 

 

W̷̷̱̝̮̥͈͓̳̻͕̠̦̋ͥͥͦͭ͗ͫ̾̊̄̽h̶̵͓̙̣̜̙̝̣͖͉̩̙̱̰̟̥ͪ̀̉̓ͭ̒ͭ̔̉̐̂̐ͭ͞a̵̵͓̼̹̻̞̳̮̬̭ͬͫ̆ͥ̄t͋͆̏̒͒͊̑̂̅̒ͯͦ͊ͯ̀̚͏̗͍̯̘̲͓̭͎̘ͅͅ?̧̧̢̹͙̹͛ͪͪͮ͘͞ͅ

 

 

>Y’glorath that is obnoxious. Stop it.

 

 

 

N̴̶̛͔̬̬̝͙̫̼̅ͦ͗̊̽̒̒̂ͣ̉͜o͂͗ͧͭͣ͗ͤ̌̐͌̌̽́͏͇̰̠̟͚̺͔̼̣͙͇̞͎̙̼!̊̉ͯͥ́̀͆̒̉̃͂͏̨̛҉̨̗̖̰̟̟̼͍̯̪̼ ̵̡̣̩̣͔͔̮̘̜͓͓͙̖ͩ͛̂ͣ͜Y̨̛̝̲͔̗̪̯͇͕̞̟͈̯͇̤̟̫̭̬̹ͩ̈ͫ̓ͪ̐̽̃o̵̢̫͕͉̠͇͊͗̀͑ͭ̉̆̋̇̈̂ͮͨ͆́̈́͌͆ͩ͜u̷̶͈̦̼̟̩͖͙̟̞̖̿͊̀̎͆̽͒̓ͫ̒ͧͣ̚͝͞͡ͅ ̴̠̘̪̠̯̙̘̻̳̣̍ͨͦ̾́͐̽̍͛ͦ̇̐͑ͣ̆ͩ̂̇͡ͅd̊̓̿̑̔̋ͦ͌ͫ̃ͤ̃͂ͯ͡͏͎̭̹̬͍̞̻̙̤̬̱̜̯̲̲͇ͅo̹̩̹̱̪ͣ̔̽ͮ̔̔̏̌͟͝ͅn̸̴̨̳͈͖͚̘͗̊̏̅̈ͮ͑̌̐͂͗͂̾̒ͬͬ̽̚͝'̛̛̫̹̦͇̰̠̭͇͔̦͓̖͈̝͚̥̹̻̣͊̊̍͊̓ͭ̎̾ͯͭ̔̈́͆ͫ̍̈̅́tͦ̑̾̃ͥͭͬ̉̀̀̚҉̬̩̖̖̝͢͟ ̿͌̀͗̂͌̿͆̈̾͆͗̚̚҉̞̙̫̬͖̫̗̯͘w̴̛̲̥͇͍̳̗̰͍̼̥̐̀̒ͤ̉̍ͦ̎̃ͪͮ̉ą̵̹̦̪̖̬̠͍̲͍̲̘͉̱̪̜̺͈̤͓ͯ͐̇̅͂͑͋ͫ̒̋ͨ̀͡n͗̑́̓ͩ̇̃ͧ̐̊ͦ҉҉̺̯͕̠̫͡͠͡ţ̢͍̠͙̝̟̫͙͈̙͔͔͙̗̘̦̠̅̇ͨ͂ͯ͛͐͂̒͘͟͟ͅ ͐̓̎̈́̌̓̈͒̉̎͆͑҉̵̷̼͇̠̹͉̬̱̲͖̭̪͈͎̺̞̜̀t̢́ͯ̐͡͏̨̜͈̙̯͍̟͇̖͇͕͉̯͙͈̦̮̤͖̞o̷̫͕̤̦̱͙̟̰̲͍̹͓̳̝̘͕̼ͥͩͮ̈́̃ͨͤ̃̀͢!̛̛̤̦̪͇̦̗͉̣͚̲̮̦͕̮̯̱ͦ̉̑ͣ͗ͮ̑̿̍̇̿̚͘͡

 

 

 

>Y’glorath if you don’t turn that zalgo off right now I am switching POVs.

Fii͘i͘n͞e,҉ you’ll ͜t̸ur͡n ͢it͢ ḑo̶w̸n͞.͝ Bu̶t͘ ̨it̛ d́o̵es̀n͢'͘t ͞go any ͏l̵ower th̡an̶ ̛this͡.

 

>No, that’s still obnoxious.

Look, it’s off. Happy now?

 

>Yes, that will be fine.

Okay! Anyways, you were going to narrate about how nice it was to be petted, but your human finished with the petting during that silly argument. Now your human and her brother are walking off to their destination, whatever it is. Oh, they appear to have stopped in front of a strangley painted house! Looking inside the living room you can see that this is the residence of Terezi Pyrope.

Wait, did you not know squiddles have four-dimensional vision?

Well...

Now you do!

 

>Doorbell: Be rung.

Oh. Is it _those_ two again? They’re always stopping by and bothering you. You wish they would move in or something already so you could get some rest. Anyways, when they press your button you ring, just like any dutiful doorbell would. Not that you have much of a choice in the matter. It’s programmed in. Still, it’s the thought that counts. That’s what you tell yourself so you can get through the day, anyways. Wait what no they don’t need to press you again, she’s already coming, isn’t it enough that they bothered you alread- Oh. Whew. Saved by Terezi opening the door.

 

**Terezi: H3LLO YOU B34UT13S**

**Terezi: COM3 ON 1N!**

**Terezi: NO NOT YOU D4V3**

**Terezi: G3T OUT**

**Terezi: 1 W4S T4LK1NG TO ROS3 4ND Y'GLOR4TH**

**Terezi: Y3S D4V3**

**Terezi: 1 R34L1Z3 TH4T TH1S 1S Y3T 4NOTH3R CRUSH1NG BLOW TO YOUR FR4G1L3 S3LF 3ST33M**

**Terezi: NO D4V3**

**Terezi: 1 R34LLY DO NOT C4R3**

**Terezi: SO 1F YOU COULD 4VO1D L4UNCH1NG 1NTO 4 R4NT 4BOUT 1T TH4T WOULD B3 N1C3**

**Terezi:**

******Dave:**

******Terezi: OK YOU C4N COM3 1N NOW**

 

~*~

 

>Be Rose.

You are now ROSE LALONDE. You and your brother have been invited to Terezi’s house to witness “4 GR4ND 3V3NT.” Other descriptors that you have heard used to describe this event include “M4RV3LOUS” and “SP3CT4CUL4R." Still, while you have your suspicions, you have not been told what the event actually is. As soon as you entered the house Terezi sat you down on the garish lime green couch in her living room. Not that there is much here that isn't garish, of course. Looking back on this place from years in the future the main thing you remember about it will be the downright inadvisable combination of colors that adorned everything. Terezi herself has gone into the kitchen to get ready. She's been bumping about in there for a while now. You wonder when she'll finis- Ah. It's gone dark. It would appear it is time for the over dramatics to begin.

 

**Terezi: L4D13S 4ND COOLK1DS**

****She isn't actually in the room. Her voice is being pumped in though a speaker system.

**Terezi: B31NGS OF 4N OTH3RWORLDLY P3RSU4S1ON**

****There is now a liberal amount of fog pouring into the room from the kitchen.

**Terezi: 1T 1S T1M3 FOR YOU TO W1TN1SS 4N 3V3NT GR4ND!**

****There are now blue lasers shining in the fog.

**Terezi: 4N 3V3NT M4RV3LOUS**

****Green lasers.

**Terezi: 4N 3V3NT DOWNR1GHT SP3CT4CUL4R**

****And now there are red lasers. Saving the best for last, Terezi? Also: told you.

**Terezi: 1T 1S T1M3 FOR YOU TO W1TN3SS!**

****Hmm. You didn't know the floor opened up like that before.

**Terezi: TH3 M1R4CL3!**

****Terezi is rising up on a platform out of the hole.

**Terezi: OF!**

****And so is...

**Terezi: DR4GON H4TCH1NG!**

****The dragon egg. Just as you expected.

 

...

 

Terezi is looking around somewhat confused.

 

**Terezi: UH**

**Terezi: YOU GUYS 4R3 ST1LL H3R3**

**Terezi: R1GHT?**

******Dave: filling your living room with mist isnt exactly the smartest idea youve ever had is it**

******Terezi: SHUT UP! >:[**

**Terezi: ...**

**Terezi: OH!**

**Terezi: 1 C4N SM3LL YOU NOW!**

**Terezi: ON W1TH TH3 SHOW!**

******Dave: so what now**

 

>Terezi: Equip flamethrower.

**Dave: what**

 

~*~

 

[Terezi is flamethrowering her teal dragon egg.]

 

~*~

 

_c_ _rack_

 

...

**Dave: and yet the sledgehammer was a bad idea**

 

~*~

 

>Be the egg?

You cannot be the egg. Still, the text parser understands what you were trying to say with that, and you are now the NEWLY HATCHED BABY DRAGON!

Hmm.

This is odd.

Typically, upon birth, your species recognizes whatever creature is closest as its parent. Now, however, there appear to be three beings about equidistant from you. (There is also one lavender being a little farther away, but you are ignoring him for now.) So. Which one should you choose? The bubblegum monkey with licorice on his face? The other monkey dressed in licorice with lilac around her neck? Or the deceptively grey one with a faint smell of watermelon mint?

Hey, why not just have them all be your mommy!


End file.
